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BETTENDORF, IOWA — Online friendships can seem like the most impersonal way to connect with someone, but one Iowa man found support from his Twitter friends behind the computer screen after his wife became ill.
Matt Parise is a popular comedian on Twitter (@sucittaM), sending out thousands of humorous tweets for years and has amassed over 35,000 followers. But early in February, Matt's Twitter account took a serious turn as he announced that his wife, 29-year-old Danielle Parise, had suffered a brain hemorrhage.
"On Wednesday, January 30th, my wife suffered a cerebral arteriovenous malformation (AVM) rupture. She was immediately taken to the University of Iowa Hospitals where she underwent neurosurgery to relieve pressure on her brain. In second surgery, the artery that fed blood to the AVM was successfully stopped and she has since minimally responded to commands to move her feet and hands and eyes. It will be a lengthy recovery process, but we are very optimistic that her condition will continue to improve."
When she's awake, I hold her hand and talk to her. I just tell her what's going on, make sure she knows that I know she's still in there and nobody's giving up on her. This isn't a permanent thing.
–Matt Parise
Danielle, who was weeks away from graduating from nursing school, is doing better than expected, even though the hemorrhage caused a small stroke. Danielle wasn't able to speak for over a week, but Matt still found ways to communicate with her.
"When she's awake, I hold her hand and talk to her," Matt told the Chicago Tribune. "I just tell her what's going on, make sure she knows that I know she's still in there and nobody's giving up on her. This isn't a permanent thing."
Matt and Danielle's family have rallied behind the couple in their support, even setting up a donation page for her rehabilitation costs. But what was unexpected was the outpouring of support from Matt's Twitter friends.
Within days, Matt's Twitter followers began donating money and offering services. One Twitter friend in Miami also set up an auction site on Tumblr to help. Then some of Matt's celebrity followers started to help.
Blink-182's Mark Hoppus donated a bass guitar signed by all three members of the band and it sold for over $10,000 on eBay. Danny Zuker, writer and executive producer of Modern Family, donated a signed script from the cast which sold for over $2,000 on eBay. Author Caprice Crane auctioned off the opportunity to name a character in her next novel.
Zuker says that even though online friendships can feel impersonal, it can create a community of friends and family behind the computer screen.
"This is not an isolating thing at all," Zuker said. "You feel part of a community. And whether that spills over into real life or not, I still think there's something real about that interaction."
This is not an isolating thing at all. You feel part of a community. And whether that spills over into real life or not, I still think there's something real about that interaction.
–Danny Zuker, writer and excecutive producer of Modern Family
Crane says that while she understands there's a risk that online relationships can be all-consuming, there can be a balance between real-life and online friends.
"I didn't know Matthew or Danielle before Twitter," she said. "But we all sort of became this community of people who like to laugh and like to make other people laugh, and with that came real connections."
Zuker says he's not surprised by the support Matt and Danielle have received.
"We're willing to accept the concept that cyberbullying is real, and it is. But if you can accept the idea that the negative is real, then you have to accept the idea that the positive is real. If strangers can hurt you, they can be friends as well," Zuker said.
Laura Fix, the Miami friend who set up the Tumblr auction, says that even though she's never met Matt in real life, she considers him a close friend. She feels a community can come in many different ways.
"This just reaffirms to me that it's a worthy thing," FIx said. "Twitter and these online connections are a complement to life."
Matt has been overwhelmed by the support of his online friends and is grateful for their generosity.
"People just started saying, 'I can get you this if it helps, I can do this for you,'" he said. "It has been unreal."
Danielle is currently recovering at a brain injury rehab center in Ankeny, Iowa called On With Life. Matt goes there every day to be with her.
"What the doctors told me is, 'If you want to know how she's going to be after all this, ask me in six months,'" he said. "Her head neurosurgeon said she's young, she'll do well. It just takes a long time."
Danielle has already been able to say a few words, the first of which were "I love you" to Matt.
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