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HALLOWEEN TOWN — You’ve heard of spooky scary skeletons and the Monster Mash, now get ready for the Pumpkin Moose.
The irresistible smell of pumpkin draws meese (moosen? meesen? mooses? I'm going to stick with meese) across the world from the forest like a basic white girl to a pumpkin spice latte. Take this video, for example:
Halloween Moose may be coming for your pumpkinspic.twitter.com/hz80ErwMwb
— Katie Workman (@workinkat) October 24, 2019
A monster of a specimen, down on his knees, ravaging the insides of the rotund squash. Oh, that was going to be your pumpkin pie later? For the Pumpkin Moose, it’s barely an evening snack. He is hungry, he wants more, and he’s ignoring the jack-o-lantern faces screaming in horror over their friend’s fate in the background.
Be afraid. Be very afraid. He’s coming for your Halloween decorations, and not even Charlie Brown’s Great Pumpkin can stop him.
Fun fact: instances like this are not unique. They’ve become such a problem that Alaska’s public media wrote an article in 2012 about the annual safety hazards of meese devouring jack-o-lanterns from the family housing on military bases.
Residents were then fined under Alaska law because feeding the wildlife is illegal. There’s something hilarious about how, if a moose eats your Halloween decorations, it is legally your fault.
So if a moose comes trick-or-treating at your door, beware of the most terrifying seasonal scare in the world: arbitrary fines.
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Some of my most embarrassing moments have come right after waking up from a nap.Kaitlyn Workman is a University of Utah political science and strategic communications major. Contact her at kworkman@deseretdigital.com
