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SALT LAKE CITY -- Reality shows like "Toddlers & Tiaras" show just how competitive child beauty pageants are. As a young girl who competed pageants like those on TV, Madison Lunt has some real horror stories.
"I think the parents are putting too much of themselves in the child and living through the child. That's what I see," Lunt said.
In this competitive world, there is naturally a high level of pressure. Together, Lunt and her mother have seen parents bring their daughters to tears by screaming at them in the dressing room and hitting them with hair brushes. Then, some parents keep piling negative comments on their children if they don't win.
"[Parents would say], ‘You need to do better. You need to go and do this. It's your fault you didn't win,'" she said.
It wouldn't be fair to say that all pageant moms act this way, and there are many girls who truly love competing. But Lunt's mother, Jody Gray, says she's seen parents force their daughters into these competitions when they clearly didn't want to be there.
"They've dragged them from the area and pulled them out from the dressing room just by their arms and said, ‘you're acting up and you're coming with me,'" Gray said.
Gray and Lunt now run the Glitz and Glamour Pageants. They say they're trying to get away from the image of the traditional competitions. They do score on beauty, poise and personality, but Gray says their main emphasis is to make sure the kids enjoy it.
She says they tell parents not to go out and buy the most expensive dress they can find, thinking that will help them win.
"They're going to win because they go up on stage and are just having fun," Gray said. "They're not afraid to turn wrong or to wave wrong or not hit the right X when they're walking out. They're not going to get deducted on their points for that. We want them to just to go out there and just enjoy themselves."
Plus, they don't let parents doll their daughters up too much. Gray says she's seen moms at other competitions go to great lengths to make their daughters look older. Some of these include:
- Wigs and hair extensions to change their daughter's appearance.
- Dentures to hide missing baby teeth.
- Spray tanning covering the entire body.
Contestants at the Glitz and Glamour Pageants can wear makeup, wear a nice dress and put their hair in a fancy do, but, all of the other stuff is out.
At the end of each contest, every girl gets a goodie bag, a sash, the title of either Queen or Princess and a crown. Gray says many other pageants end with only the winner getting a crown and everyone else goes home empty-handed.
Sadly, if a child doesn't enjoy being in these competitions, they might not always tell their parents about it. Some keep competing just to please their mom and dad. But, Gray says there are ways to tell if the child doesn't want to be there.
"You can tell. They don't smile. They don't want to be up on stage or they're just withdrawn," she said.
Child psychologists say parents need to be very careful when they talk to their children about their appearance and self image.
The Children's Center executive director Dr. Douglas Goldsmith said, "When we do these kinds of things, we're saying, ‘The most important part about you is how you look.'"
Goldsmith says if a parent reinforces the idea within their daughter that she isn't pretty enough, it can be extraordinarily damaging. "That would borderline on some neglect and possibly a referral for someone that's being that emotionally abusive to a child."
Glitz and Glamour is not the only pageant company in Utah trying to break away from the traditional model of competition. A company named Beehive Beauties claims to be an all natural beauty pageant, where kids are not allowed to wear makeup at all.
E-mail: pnelson@ksl.com
