If you know and love someone who struggles with an addiction, you probably feel alone. The fallout of your loved one’s addiction can be debilitating, devastating and emotionally traumatizing. If you feel like there’s no solution, you’re mistaken. The key to helping an addict is to identify your enabling behaviors, and then to stop them.

People who struggle with addictions have no incentive or motivation to change if you are constantly taking the fall for them or removing natural consequences. It’s no easy task to break the cycle of enablement and addiction, but for the sake of your loved one, it’s a necessary hardship. KSL and Renaissance Ranch want to help you identify enabling behaviors, so you can take action and break the vicious cycle. Ask yourself if any of these six enabling behaviors apply to you:

1. Acting out of fear

Addiction is an ugly beast that causes devastation. As you probably know, addiction causes irrational behavior, and you might feel afraid of your loved one or worried for the person's safety. If you're constantly trying to avoid a confrontation, it sends a message that an addict's behavior is acceptable. People can’t seek help to change until they know there is a problem to begin with. In addition, you don't deserve to live in constant fear.

2. Taking part in deceit

This behavior comes in many forms. Perhaps you feel embarrassed about your loved one’s addiction and lie to friends and family to cover up problems. Lying to protect your loved one from consequences (legal or otherwise) causes more harm than good. You may even find yourself in a situation that requires you to lie, cheat or steal to fuel your loved one’s addiction. These are not healthy or safe behaviors. Change starts when you decide to be honest with yourself and others about the addiction.

3. Putting your loved one’s demands before your basic needs

You’ve heard true love is putting someone else’s needs before your own, but enabling takes this a step too far. You can’t put someone’s addiction before your basic needs, which include paying bills or taking care of and protecting your family. Prioritizing your loved one’s demands likely fuels their addiction without helping them at all.

4. Making excuses and blaming others

In your heart, you probably know your loved one's addiction is the root of many problems for you. Instead of facing what’s happening, you tend to blame people around your loved one. Teachers, counselors and friends cannot claim responsibility for someone else's actions. Instead, you need to hold your loved one responsible and assist the person in seeking help. Only then can healing begin.

5. Feeling trapped and unable to communicate

People who enable loved ones in an addiction often feel trapped because they want to love and help but don’t know how to stop the addiction without causing a rift in the relationship. Resentment, anger and hurt often develop, although you may not express these feelings. Fear of a confrontation or denial from your loved one may prevent you from communicating your concerns.

6. Ignoring dangerous behavior

Whether perceived or actual danger, you cannot ignore problematic behavior. If you tell yourself it's just a phase or your loved one will eventually end the addiction without help, you’re wrong. Addiction changes people and the things they care about, and you can’t rely on your loved one’s common sense or willpower. If you feel someone is in harm's way (you, your family or your loved one) because of the addiction, it’s time to get help.

Rehab centers are an option, and it’s important to find one that works for you. Contact Renaissance Ranch to learn more today.

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