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Pregnant women receive lots of well wishes and positive comments about the new chapter in their lives. Unfortunately, they also find themselves the recipients of some unflattering remarks.
Most people are not intentionally rude, insensitive, or inappropriate, but they can easily come across the wrong way to a woman who is on a hormonal roller coaster, according to Lupe Cruz, CNM, who is a certified nurse midwife at LDS Hospital in Salt Lake City.
Here are the top 10 things most pregnant women don’t want to hear, according to Cruz:
1. “You are HUGE!”
As a woman’s belly grows with pregnancy, she already feels “huge.” She doesn’t need to you to point it out.
2. “You are so tiny!” is not any better.
Some women may already be concerned that their baby isn’t growing enough. If their baby is small and there is a concern, their provider is already on top of it. Your opinion is not needed.
3. “Are you sure you're not having twins?”
Again with the size! She is already self-conscious about her expanding girth without your input.
4. “You’re still pregnant!”—or—“No baby yet?”
When you get to a certain gestational age, it’s pretty obvious you haven’t had the baby. “Those last few months can feel like an eternity, especially when you get that question everywhere you go!” says Cruz.
5. “Aww, you look so tired/exhausted/awful/pale.”
The only word you should be using to describe how a pregnant woman looks is “BEAUTIFUL.”
6. “Was this planned?”
The only person who can ask this question is the woman’s provider. You’re getting a little too personal if you ask this.
7. “Aren’t you a little old/young to be pregnant?”
This is a very judgmental comment and is best kept to oneself.
8. “If you think this is bad, just wait until…"
"...the birth/the terrible twos/the teenage years/the sleepless nights.” It’s probably best to give new parents encouraging comments rather than attempting to warn them of impending doom.
9. “Do you plan on breastfeeding?”
Again, this is none of your business. Talking about breastfeeding is much like talking politics. Everyone has strong opinions about it and they’re quick to try to educate anyone who will listen about what they think.
10. “I sure hope you have a better birth than mine…”
...and then proceed with a horrible, traumatic birth story. Please, please, please don’t scare a pregnant woman (especially if it’s her first time) with horror stories about labor and birth.
Pregnancy is a very exciting time in a woman’s life. Cruz says the best things (and safest!) you can say to a pregnant woman are: “You look beautiful,” and “Congratulations.”
