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For most families, Thanksgiving is a unique blend of gratitude and incredibly uncomfortable family conversations. It is possible to sail through the longest dinner of the year with zero drama — difficult, but possible.
Don't shake your head in disbelief. Out of a pool of never ending kindness, here are some tips to survive Thanksgiving. There is definitely more where these came from.
1. Eat more
If your mouth is stuffed, there is no way you can respond with something catty. The subject will change and peace will once again reign on the earth.
2. Provide some family friendly entertainment
At the expense of annoying your siblings, find some makeshift musical instruments and treat your family to a rendition of "Hot Cross Buns." If it sustains the status quo for five minutes, then it's a job well done.
3. Don't discuss morality, money or politics with your extended family
Nothing ruins a good cranberry sauce like an argument that is so biased it belongs strictly on Facebook.
4. Be the first to help out in the kitchen
Whether it is preparing the second course, dessert or just getting your grandpa more water, be the first to run out of the room to help out. When completely empty, the kitchen can be your safe place.
5. Although fun, don't play with or wear your food
Although it seems like a nice, distracting idea, stop. Your Aunt Sandy went through hell and back to make that stuffing. Watching you pretend it is a mound of compost will only bring tensions higher. Don't do it.
6. No need to bring up the source of America's Thanksgiving tradition
Everybody knows what happened. Do you need to feed off guilt along with your turkey? Stop focusing on America's controversial past, present and future. Ask your grandparents about their past. Maybe you'll learn about your strength and what makes you proud to share their blood.
7. Share what you are grateful for
It is so cheesy! If done right, though, you can have a nice, little feel-good moment with the fam. Make it happen. Tell the world how you are grateful for trees and mashed potatoes. It doesn't matter what you say as long as you mean it.
8. Focus on others
Talk about the successes of your family members. Start the conversation about how awesome they are and how great this year was. Remind them that you support them. Automatically, they will not be defensive and the tone of the dinner will be more upbeat than historically known.
9. Remember that no family is perfect
Every family out there has drama. Every Thanksgiving ends up capitalizing on that drama somehow. This year, all you have to do is remember that your family is crazy just like every other family. There is no need to be embarrassed or frustrated. This is the way it is and in spite of everything, you all still love each other. Talk about something to be grateful for.
At Robert J. DeBry and Associates, we're grateful for our families and friends. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!