What every child of an aging parent should know: the documents you need and why

What every child of an aging parent should know: the documents you need and why

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SALT LAKE CITY — Whether due to a parent’s slowly fading memory or sudden health crisis, more children are finding themselves taking on increasing responsibility in their parents' lives. That includes assisting with finances.

Here are a few steps to make the transition easier on everyone.

Have a conversation

In the best scenarios, parents have planned for the future and prepared the right documents, such as a durable power of attorney and health care directive that allow children to help when needed. A good durable power of attorney allows you to name a trusted agent who can manage finances if you are unable to.

A Utah Advance Directive is another critical document, one that allows you to nominate a health care agent to make health care decisions and obtain medical records if you are unable to do so. Both of these documents are easily executed and can help avoid costly court proceedings to nominate a conservator or guardian.

It is important to have a conversation with your children or your parents about planning before the need arises. One way to bring up this sensitive topic is to relate the experience of a friend or relative. For instance, “I was talking to Jean about caring for Aunt June, and she was telling me how difficult it has been to manager her finances without a durable power of attorney. Is that something you have?”

Let them know of the importance of having a trust, durable power of attorney, and health care power of attorney, and offer to help them find an attorney to discuss their needs, if necessary. Ask them where important records, such as tax returns and financial information, are kept, all while making it clear that you respect their hard-earned money and independence and simply want to help them prepare for a situation where they need help managing things. Knowing what documents exist — and where they are located — is the best place to start.

Gather documents

If and when the time comes to assist a parent with their finances, begin by gathering important documents, including bank and investment accounts. If you are having trouble tracking down information, look to their most recent tax return, as it may provide information on financial institutions, as well as any income received. Their accountant and/or certified financial planner can also help you gather information.

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Next, collect and pay bills. Handling finances should go smoothly if you have a durable power of attorney or are a trustee for your parents' trust, as it authorizes banks and other institutions to deal with you on your parents' behalf. Otherwise, you may need to go to court to get the proper authority, known as a guardianship or conservatorship.

Communicate

If siblings or other family members are involved, communication will decrease the likelihood of misunderstandings and conflicts. If a sibling questions the need for you to get involved with your parents' finances, encourage them to spend a weekend caring for them, so they can see the reality of the situation. Document all your transactions — as well as their purpose — and give regular updates to your siblings.

With a little planning and the right documents in place, you and your family will be better prepared for the future.


About the authors: Kathie Brown Roberts, CELA, is a certified elder law attorney by the National Elder Law Foundation. Kate Nance is senior attorney at Kathie Brown Roberts P.C. in Sandy, Utah. Contact: www.kathierobertslaw.com.

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