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Confidence plays a big role when it comes to developing a child’s self-esteem. Parents want to see their children flourish in the world and develop their unique talents that make them who they are.
“We all want to know that we have a strength and we’re good at something,” said. Dr. Terri Anne Flint, director of Employee Wellness at Intermountain Healthcare.
Also, building a child’s self-esteem will carve a path to good mental health and social happiness, she said.
“We want to know that we’re accepted and have good friends that will accept us for who we are,” Flint said, and it all begins in the home with setting boundaries.
“We all need limits," she said. "We think that limits are bad, but limits are very helpful.”
Consistency with daily schedules provides a sense of security and helps to build those healthy habits. Setting time aside for meals, homework, family time and sleep are the building blocks to a child's sense of self, she said.
"We want routines that connect us together," Flint said. "I think we should consider routines now where we put away all of our wireless devices and just talk.”
When children challenge the rules of the home, Flint said to keep limits in mind.
“A good parent is both a friend but also someone who role models and sets boundaries," she said. "The best, coolest parents are those who do have boundaries who know where their kids are. It’s easier to say 'oh, go do whatever you want to do, learn how you want.' Kids can easily interpret that as you just don’t care.”
Find the time and space where one doesn't give advice but just listens, she said.
“You may have to bite your fingers and your tongue to hold that back, but you want to prove to your child that you can just listen to them," she said.
Look for those natural moments for one-on-one interaction, she counseled.
“It’s amazing how if you just be quiet and let them talk," she said. "You’re putting these amazing deposits into their emotional bank account and that’s one of the best things you can do for your children.”
Flint said car rides are one of the best times, but parents can sabotage them as soon as they turn on the radio. If those lines of communication with a child have yet to be established, Flint said, it’s never too late to start.
Find ways to celebrate each child's talents, she recommended.
“The truth is we’re all not going to be cheerleaders, we’re all not going to be star basketball players," Flint said. "So you try it out and you go, 'yeah, that’s not my strength.' So cool that it’s yours, but I need to go find what mine is.”
Flint warns to steer clear of the blame game and eliminate the negative language in the home.
“We lose a lot of energy in our life blaming circumstances or people or things," she said. "That’s a lot of energy that goes nowhere. Blaming sucks all your energy and then you don’t have any energy to keep trying and I think that’s why we give up. Forgiveness keeps us growing.”
