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Tips for couples preparing for marriage:
1. Ask a lot of questions. Find out your fiancé's expectations. Does he expect you to fix him a hot breakfast every morning? Does she expect you to clean the house? Does he expect to go out with friends three nights a week? Does she expect to get her nails done every week? Gather as much information as you possibly can about expectations, future plans and life-long goals.
2. Learn about your fiancé's character by learning about his experiences growing up and as a teenager. What is the hardest experience that she has faced and how did she handle it? How does he treat others on a daily basis? Is she honest? How does he act when he is angry or upset? Remember that as hard as it is to imagine it now, at some point in the future you will be the one he or she is upset with. How will you feel about the way you are treated?
3. Spend lots of time with your fiancés family. Learning about his or her family can tell you things about your fiancé that you won't learn in any other way. What is the relationship like between her parents and her siblings? How do his parents interact with each other? Remember that your fiancé has learned their relationship skills from watching their parents. They taught him or her how to love and how to live with others in a family unit. But also realize that whether their family is conservative, quirky or dysfunctional, you can watch to see how your future mate interacts with the family and what behaviors they take on as being normal. Some of the strongest healthiest people are the ones that come from dysfunction and have found a better way. Therefore,
4. Watch your fiancé interact with his or her family. Find out more about the family and how he or she has developed in the family. What is her relationship like with her siblings? What is his relationship like with his parents? Seeing how your fiancé treats his family members may give you a glimpse into your future. More often than not, the way someone treats his family members is how he will treat his spouse and future family.
These tips can all be jumping off points for conversations between you and your fiancé. Talk about your differences and your similarities. The more you talk, the more you understand your future mate. Most issues can be worked through and it is often easier to do it before the wedding.
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