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I have 5 children, 3 who are technically my step-children who are teenagers (one soon to turn 20!) and 2 toddlers. The toddlers, especially Ethan (4), rock my world. Their commitment to asserting their independence (often at full volume) is impressive. Their need for attention sometimes overwhelming. I find myself feeling inadequate so often that I've done what I always do when I am insecure - research.
A good friend (who I sometimes call my guru) referred me to this book - Children: The Challenge by Dr. Rudolf Dreikurs. I'm devouring it. The bit I just read was "Encouragement is more important than any other aspect of child-raising. It is so important that the lack of it can be considered the basic cause for misbehavior. A misbehaving child is a discouraged child."
I'm going to think about that one for awhile, and go home and encourage Ethan.