Five ways to have a happy interracial marriage

In 2012, interracial marriages hit a record high of 4.8 million in the United States so there is now a 1 in 12 chance that you are or will be married to someone of another race. In addition, a Pew report states that more than 25 percent of Hispanics who married in 2010 had a spouse of a different race. I am proud to be one of those people.

I have been happily married to my gringito (y guapo, por supuesto) husband for over four years now and I am here to tell you that interracial marriages not only work, they add sabor to my life and to our country. I'd like to suggest five ways you too can have a happy interracial marriage:

1. Speak the other person's language. I mean this both literally and figuratively. I feel lucky that my husband speaks Spanish because he went on an LDS Spanish-speaking mission. He also really understands Hispanic culture because of his mission. He gets that Hispanics can be fun, funny and a little bit superstitious as well (just in case, you know) but that they are also hard workers and perhaps a little bit dramatic on the side, just for some flavor. He has also met enough Hispanics to know that those characteristics can sometimes be stereotypes.

By the time he met me and my family, he understood all of the above plus he spoke Spanish so he was prepared to marry a Latina. Of course, not everyone is going to be able to spend two years speaking Spanish but at least taking some Spanish classes can be helpful and very beneficial.

2. Become friends with other interracial couples. As noted by the statistics above, you are not alone. Many of us have interracial marriages and what better way to show support and solidarity than by hanging out with people who also enjoy being married to another race. In my case, a bunch of my Latina cousins are married to gringos and they all love it (the hombres and the mujeres).

3. Don't hide your cultures under a bushel. Flaunt it! Just because you have merged two cultures doesn't mean you need to start from square one. It's been so much fun to introduce my husband and his family to traditions such as the Dia de los Reyes on January 6 which we celebrate with a big Rosca of course.

4. Take your spouse to your family's homeland (if you can). I know that it is not always easy or cheap to fly out of the country, but if it possible, visiting a person's heritage homeland is a helpful way for a spouse to truly understand what is going on when you do something "unnatural" (but of course natural to you).

Take for example the way I eat oranges. My husband says I eat them strangely (I peel the whole rind off and then squeeze the juice into my mouth, do any of you latinas do that?? I will admit it's not the most attractive way to eat an orange but it's soooo delicioso). When I go to Mexico I see other people eat oranges like me and a few years ago when I visited Cuba they were eating the oranges just like me too! I felt so justified and included.

5. Talk about your expectations often. My husband and his family were pretty surprised with some of our wedding customs like the dollar dance and the vibora de la mar dance. But I had talked about including these traditions beforehand so they were prepared for it. As with any healthy marriage, no matter the race, if you talk about your expectations before an event, everything goes much more smoothly.

Well, I hope these tips can help you have the interracial marriage of your dreams. Now I've got that Vibora de la mar dance song stuck in my head "A la víbora, víbora de la mar, de la mar, por aquí pueden pasar..." Nelda is a mami to two lovely children. Her mom is from Mexico, her dad is from Germany and she enjoys being a product of three cultures. In her spare time, she likes to sing karaoke (Selena only), dance bachata (Prince Royce anybody??) and eat pupu