Estimated read time: 2-3 minutes
This archived news story is available only for your personal, non-commercial use. Information in the story may be outdated or superseded by additional information. Reading or replaying the story in its archived form does not constitute a republication of the story.
CRUISE-ING ALTITUDE — Tom Cruise is the ultimate movie star. Love him or hate him, he's made some iconic movies and his name is usually synonymous with box office gold.
The man has won awards, made billions at the box office, flown airplanes, jumped out of airplanes, held on to the side of airplanes, and also done a bunch of other stuff that likely should have killed him. Now that he's conquered all of that, what's next for Tommy? Becoming president, of course.
This announcement video appeared online a few days ago showing we now have a new candidate for the 2020 election: Tom Cruise. In the video, Cruise is literally running to announce that he's running. If you've ever seen a Cruise film, you know the man can run — and he runs a lot.
Cruise makes some good points in the video about why he'd be such a great president. He's been a small business owner, saved the world from aliens no less than three times, served his country as a Navy pilot, has a law degree — kind of — and was both a lawyer and a Navy lawyer.
Tom's got a need, a need to lead; and I say we give him the chance. I'd miss some of those "Mission: Impossible" flicks while he's busy serving as the Commander in Chief, but I think I'll manage. I mean, I'm doing OK without "The Apprentice" in my life.
Get to the polls people and vote Cruise. Tom Cruise.
Wait, what's that? Apparently, my editor is letting me know this is a parody and that's not actually Tom Cruise. Never mind. Now go back to worrying about which of the roughly 2,000 presidential candidates to vote for in 2020.
Save us, Tom.
