How the U. helps athletes, coaches balance football, family and faith

How the U. helps athletes, coaches balance football, family and faith

(Jeffrey D. Allred, Deseret News)


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SALT LAKE CITY — It’s 3 a.m. following a taxing football game. The brain is wired and sleep is fleeting. But in a few hours, church services begin and your toddler does not care what time you went to bed or how exhausted you or your body might feel.

It’s a familiar situation to many on the University of Utah football team — athletes and coaches alike. Football is an all-consuming sport, with little available time left for other responsibilities, including homework for student athletes, family life and for some, religious practices. Not only does the grueling sport take a physical toll on the body, it consumes all aspects of the lives involved.

To be the best, athletes and coaches put in hundreds of hours of work in preparation that go beyond the already daunting number of scheduled practices as a team. It’s the embodiment of Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000-hour rule: a mastery of football, or at least competing as a top-tier athlete or coach in the sport, takes an exorbitant amount of time, dedication and discipline.

“There is no substitute for the amount of time you have to spend with football,” University of Utah place kicker Andy Phillips said. “You can’t really do the bare minimum. In fact, they say we only spend 20 hours a week there, but if you want to be the best, you’re there before lifts, after runs and after practice.”

Few see the long hours put in each day to help a team be successful. It’s a simple four-hour game in the public’s eye, where heroes are born or villains perpetuated: How did he miss that “easy” kick? Why would the coach call that play? My toddler could make that throw!

Those four hours each week for approximately 15 weeks are just a fraction of the daily pursuit to be better, to obtain something more. For some, football is a means to get an education while enjoying a favorite sport. For others, it’s an opportunity to improve one’s position in life — getting out of generational poverty in hopes for a better life or being the first from the family to go to college and pursue a career.

Whatever the goal, football is a valuable medium that transcends the actual game. It’s an avenue for hundreds of thousands of youths around the country to play the sport in hopes of something more in the future.

“There really is no substitute or way to make it any easier, and that’s what makes it so difficult,” Phillips said. “Some days I have a ton of anxiety because I’ve got a group project and I’m meeting with my group for an hour, and then I have to run straight to my lift, and then I have my night class tonight and I have an exam in my night class. I’m kinda like, ‘how am I going to fit all this in; what am I going to do?’”

Phillips added that football is “definitely stressful and puts a lot of strain on our life” but that it “doesn’t last forever” and is a “really cool opportunity” despite the time commitment.

Items displayed at Morgan Scalley's home in Holladay (Photo: Jeffrey D. Allred, Deseret News)
Items displayed at Morgan Scalley's home in Holladay (Photo: Jeffrey D. Allred, Deseret News)

Newly promoted defensive coordinator Morgan Scalley said football “offers a lot of good things,” including a means to provide for his family and an opportunity to be a mentor to young adults in their post-collegiate pursuits, even though other important aspects of life often become secondary.

“During those tough times it helps to talk through, you know, what's great about (football), what's great about the job,” Scalley said, speaking about the conversation he has with his family regarding his career.

Balancing family life

Utah athletics, particularly the football program under the direction of head coach Kyle Whittingham, attempts to close the gap as much as possible to help athletes and coaches have a more balanced life while living up to the demands that football naturally brings upon all involved. “It's all about the player and the player’s experience at the university,” Scalley said.

On any given day, family of the athletes or coaches can be seen watching on the sidelines, with hugs being swapped for footballs at the end of practice. Each fall, the football program invites spouses of athletes and coaches to various team-building functions, including a fall camp barbecue.

“All the players’ wives come and the coaches' wives come, and it’s so awesome because they’re in the same position that you are and they can relate to everything you’re going through,” Andy Phillips’ wife, Megan, said.

“We’re all kinda in this together, and I feel like in a sense we’re the only ones who can relate to each other,” Morgan Scalley’s wife, Liz, said. “You don’t really know or understand what the schedules are and the demands on you and on your husband unless you’re in it. I definitely feel that support from the coaches' wives.”

University of Utah football player Andy Phillips with his wife Megan and son Max at Disney's California Adventure with Pluto. (Photo: Courtesy: Phillips family)
University of Utah football player Andy Phillips with his wife Megan and son Max at Disney's California Adventure with Pluto. (Photo: Courtesy: Phillips family)

Coming into the 2014 season, Megan was pregnant with their first child Max and would have him during that season. Megan said Kyle Whittingham’s wife, Jamie, was a huge help during this time while Andy played football.

“She would text me every day and say, ‘Any update? How’s the baby? Any movement?’” Megan said. “She was so supportive and always checking in on me. She’s always said to ‘call me if you need anything.’ It’s awesome to have that kind of support.”

On nights before a game or when the team travels, some of the spouses get together as a support group of sorts. “The wives will get together and will do something together or we’ll watch an away game together,” Megan said. “There’s a lot of support, and it’s great.”

Although there is a tremendous amount of support among those involved in the football program, not everything is rosy for the families. After all, football dominates life.

“It was really hard two seasons ago when we just had Max because I was home with a brand new baby all by myself and I just wanted help,” Megan recalled. “I just wanted somebody to come hold the baby so I could take a shower or go to the bathroom. It was really hard.”

“Everything kind of falls on me just because Morgan can’t physically be here,” Liz said. “I have learned my own limitations and what I can and can’t do. Something that’s been hard for me that I’ve learned to do is to ask for help. That’s been a hard thing for me.”

But each finds a way to “make it work” without sacrificing important family time amid a football-dominant lifestyle. And at least for Andy and Morgan, their wives are grateful for the support and attention to family life each gives when they are at home.

“I do feel very fortunate and blessed that Morgan is the way that he is; that he does put family first,” Liz said. “Even when his schedule is out of his control, which it is a lot of the time, I know that we come first. I’m very grateful for that because I don’t know how it would be otherwise.”

“When I get home my time's gotta be with my kids, my time's gotta be my wife, and we try and do as much as possible together,” Morgan added. “The time that I have to be home I'm going to be home and I'm going to be with them. A lot of it has to do with setting your priorities straight and making sure you own up to them.”

Morgan Scalley, Utes' new defensive coordinator and former player, plays football with his son Andrew at his home in Holladay (Photo: Jeffrey D. Allred, Deseret News)
Morgan Scalley, Utes' new defensive coordinator and former player, plays football with his son Andrew at his home in Holladay (Photo: Jeffrey D. Allred, Deseret News)

Balancing faith and spirituality

Living in a predominantly LDS state, religion is at least tangentially intertwined into the Utah culture, and that’s no different for the Utah football program. Although religion is not openly promoted by the coaching staff or athletes, it has its role in the makeup of the program. It’s an aspect of the program Whittingham encourages for those who want to expresses religious or spiritual beliefs.

Utah is a diverse program, with athletes and coaches prescribing to various religious faiths and denominations. The makeup of the program includes members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Catholics, Muslims, and non-denominational religions, to name a few. But all share in the team brotherhood, regardless of how one defines their spirituality.

“It’s been easy for us because there is a great culture at the U. There are a lot of LDS coaches and a lot of LDS players,” Andy Phillips, who is a member of the LDS faith, said. “There are a lot of players of other Christian faiths. Sharrieff Shah, for example, he’s Muslim. There’s a lot of respect up at the U. on the team for people of faith, any faith. And that makes it easy.”

“It definitely helps for us to have a head man that understands that culture and understands what's expected,” Morgan Scalley, who is also LDS, said. “We're very respectful of those that aren't LDS that also are strong members of their faith. And that's what makes Utah unique and dynamic is that there is that diversity not only with the players but with the coaches as well.”

University of Utah football player Andy Phillips with his son Max. (Photo: Courtesy: Phillips family)
University of Utah football player Andy Phillips with his son Max. (Photo: Courtesy: Phillips family)

Although uncommon in many college programs around the country, Whittingham keeps Sundays open as a free day for players and coaches to practice their religion or to have a day off from the rigors of football.

“Football is a grind. It takes up a ton of your time and it's nice to have that balance,” Scalley said. “You've got your athletic activities throughout the day, you've got your academic activities throughout the day and it's nice to have that spiritual side as well.”

As a leader in the LDS Church (Whittingham serves on the high council in his stake) and of the football program, Whittingham has created an environment for the players to become well-rounded individuals in an atmosphere that fosters growth, even if that means he occasionally takes off the coaching hat and replaces it for a spiritual one.

To Whittingham, it’s about the players and their experience at the university. At no time, however, is religion forced upon another; it’s never a form of coercion or a pressured environment where you must belong to a particular religious denomination to gain favor in the state of the program.

“The one thing coach Whittingham understands is that he's a coach, but he's also a father figure for a lot of these kids. And, you know, if they want to hear from him and they want to hear his testimony he'll give it to them. He's not going to shy away from it,” Scalley said. “If he's asked by a player to give him a blessing, he's all about the players.”

“It just brings a different level of respect because you’re like here’s the highest paid state employee and he’s the head of the football team and everyone knows his face, yet he’s not too good to fulfill his calling as (an LDS member),” Phillips said. “It’s just a different level of respect where you don’t just know them on a football basis. They’re not just your coach, but you also know they’re struggling with the same things you are and they’re trying to live their lives in a certain way that you are.”

With anything — football, family, or faith — it’s about balance and understanding the various demands and constraints on an individual’s life. Too much of one thing can be a negative. But at Utah, it’s about balancing life on and off the field in a meaningful, deliberate way to help the athletes and coaches that make up the program.

“It's about the player and the player's experience at the university and making sure the parents understand that when they send their kids to Kyle Whittingham and the University of Utah, they will be taken care of in more ways than just football,” Scalley said.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, center, of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and his wife Harriet greet coach Kyle Whittingham of the University of Utah before Utah faces Utah State in Salt Lake City. (Photo: Ravell Call, Deseret News)
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, center, of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and his wife Harriet greet coach Kyle Whittingham of the University of Utah before Utah faces Utah State in Salt Lake City. (Photo: Ravell Call, Deseret News)

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