SALT LAKE CITY — Because they’re moms of mostly teens but not yet empty nesters, some mothers find themselves in parenting limbo with a question: Now what?

May I suggest you happily get to create and shape this joyful next stage of life. Here are three ways to do so:

1. Acknowledge the transition in your mom role

Recognize this life transition is happening without a defined start and stop, and that’s OK. First, find a way to celebrate what you’ve done well already. Write in your journal 10 great things you’ve done as a mother, so far; or write memorable moments. While waiting for kids at the playing field or the airport, jot down a few keeper experiences and compile them for a wedding gift down the road.

Once you’ve acknowledged the good, allow your parenting to change too. With adult children living at home, have discussions about adjusted home rules. Talk about whether they are going to work part time or full time, if they're going to go to school, do their own laundry, help with home repairs, etc. After talking with your spouse, perhaps take your adult child to lunch and make it a connecting time to figure out this new stage together.

2. Open your mind to new possibilities

Now that you’ve acquired wonderful life experience and wisdom (I can’t wait … ) discover new or latent talents and ways to use them. Allow yourself to consider ways to contribute you may not have before. Whether it’s helping a local reading program, running for city council or creating a family history blog for your family, choose something that resonates with your desires and abilities.

As you make this shift, communicate what’s happening with your spouse. When we transition in life stages, it helps to assure loved ones all is well and we're simply discovering more of who you are. Like tectonic plates that move in the earth, we all have rumblings and shiftings that create new features in the landscape. Talk with your spouse about these positive life changes. Share ideas of what you both can pursue or individually enjoy, and support each other throughout.

VIDEO:

Studio 5: Navigating Motherhood After Your Kids are Grown

Learn more about navigating your next phase motherhood by watching Connie's segment on the <a href="http://studio5.ksl.com/?nid=54&sid=39638246"target=_blank>"Studio 5 with Brooke Walker" website</a>. You can also see the discussion on Connie's own site, <a href="http://conniesokol.com/" target="_blank">www.conniesokol.com</a>.

A friend of mine has felt a personal connection to helping in Africa. Her husband has supported her in providing temporal as well as emotional assistance, even flying to the continent with her. Although she is the main project organizer and doer, sharing these experiences together has been a positive relationship builder, adding depth, variety and interest.

3. Partner with women and mothers in similar situations

There is beautiful synergy and power in connecting with other women to fill gaps and move ideas forward. One of my favorite examples is that of Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony, two gifted leaders in the Women’s Suffrage movement.

In the book, "How to Be Like Women of Influence," authors Pat and Ruth Williams share how Stanton and her husband pursued women’s right to vote, doing all they could. However, Stanton had seven children. Knowing she couldn’t be all the places she needed to be, she teamed with Anthony, who readily got the message out. Stanton shared, “It was said that I forged the thunderbolts and she fired them.”

They combined their strengths with a realistic view of their situation and, together, they made history and the world a better place.

Enjoy this new and exciting stage of life as you continue to focus on the family at home and explore your additional gifts.

---

Learn more about navigating your next phase motherhood by watching Connie's segment on the "Studio 5 with Brooke Walker" website. You can also see the discussion on Connie's own site, www.conniesokol.com.

Related topics