BOUNTIFUL — I had the opportunity to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Catania, Italy. When you serve a mission for the LDS Church, you are assigned into a pair or a companionship. Some companions fit you perfectly, while many others do not.

Twenty-four hours a day with someone for anywhere from 3-6 months and sometimes longer can get very trying. I was given one particular companion who was very different than me. After a few short weeks, I found myself wishing one of us would get transferred to another area. It gets lonely on the mission. Having the only other person you can talk to be someone you don't really get along with compounds that feeling immensely. As a 21-year-old girl, I felt it acutely. I later realized she did as well.

My companion would often make calls at night to one of her previous companions. They would talk in Italian, and since I didn't yet know the language well enough to understand, I didn't know I was often the topic of conversation, more specifically how difficult I was to live with. I was finally transferred after three months. My new companion happened to be the companion of the girl who my old companion called nightly to complain to. It became evident, very quickly, that my new companion had already formed a not-so-great opinion of me.

After three days of me trying to befriend her, she broke down one night. "OK, you are way different that I imagined you were," she said. "I was terrified after all I'd heard about you to get you as a companion. I'm so sorry."

I was shocked but grateful she had told me. She and I ended up becoming great friends. However, during the midst of that time, something else began to happen to me: Anger began to take hold. How dare that girl say all of those things about me that were untrue. How dare she spread rumors about me. My name would now be tainted with each new companion before I even had a chance to show them who I was. This anger continued to build in me. I found myself thinking about it constantly and then talking about it constantly. It finally got to the point where one night I turned to my new companion, who by now was very aware of my feelings: "I should warn all the other girls about her," I said hatefully. I will never forget the powerful lesson I learned in that moment by a dear and wise friend.

Her brow furrowed in sadness as she looked at me. "Oh, Kate. You don't want people to hate her do you?"

Instantly, I was filled with shame. I could see in that moment who I was becoming. How ironic it was that I was there to teach lessons of love and forgiveness. Even more alarming, I realized the answer to her question was, "Yes." I wanted to win. I wanted to be more liked. I wanted people to hate her and like me. Perhaps one of the most sobering moments in my life was finding out I wasn't as humble, Christian, kind and forgiving as I thought I was.

From that moment on I decided to change. I made an effort to point out the good in that companion to all my future companions. It wasn't hard either because once I stopped feeling anger I could clearly see all the good she had done for me as well as others while we were together.

I wrote her a note and apologized for my behavior during our time together. I could now see things from her side and realize she wasn't the only one that was hard to live with.

This particular companion became someone for me who I truly admired. She taught with such conviction and love. Regardless if we got along perfectly or not, I never denied that. Many times I have been reminded that the mission experience was so much more for me to learn than it was for me to teach. I will forever be grateful for that and for two dear friends, one who taught me to forgive and another who forgave me.

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Kate Rose Lee is a Utah native, mother of four and author. You can read more of her writing at www.momentsofchunder.blogspot.com. You can download Kate's radio show free on iTunes.

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