SALT LAKE CITY — As a parent, keeping everyone entertained is exhausting. Yet in the recesses of our hearts where images of sweet, cherubic infanthood are stored — layered with the reality of demanding toddlers, cranky adolescents and individualistic teens — we feel at least a twinge of melancholy: time and childhood passing by.

The reality is that one day our children will be grown and gone, and we'll look back in awe at how quickly time with them slipped through our fingers. The beginning of the school year provides the ideal opportunity to take a deep breath and re-center our parenting efforts as we savor time with our kids.

Write a parenting mission statement

Children look to the adults in their lives for examples of how life is to be lived. When love is found in abundance, it is likely to be emulated. A parent can teach that regardless of how family members may get on one another's nerves. Families are bound together by heart strings — the love they extend to one another, even when it might not be easy to give.

In addition to love, respect for others and self-respect are qualities well worth emulating. Respect, or the lack of it, is first taught in the home. Children who are treated with respect are most likely to become happy, healthy adults even in the face of dire circumstances and challenges. These children will be more able to withstand pressure from friends who might encourage them to use dangerous substances or engage in risky behaviors and activities. They will be more optimistic, as well as more confident in making correct decisions when others dare them to betray their core beliefs. They will also be more willing to treat those around them with love and respect.

As your kids go back to school this year, think about what you want them to know — values and life lessons that will sustain them when they are outside your home. In 25 words or less, write a parenting mission statement. For instance, in this day and age, the inherent value of kindness is often underrated and seldom extolled. Do your kids understand the importance of kindness? Honesty and patience are also vital, as is a strong sense of self-worth. You can teach these life skills and many others in a way no one else can.

Maybe your parenting mission statement will be something like, "I will teach my children truth and love that they might find peace and joy in the world;" or "I want my children to respect themselves and others, to know their own value and the value of all living things;" or "I want my children to be kind; I will be an example of kindness in all I do."

Put your statement in a place where you can refer to it often and seek each day to find ways to put it into practice. Think of fun things, like leaving thank-you notes to commend your kids' good deeds, truthfulness and compassion. Give handmade invitations asking your kids to join you for an early morning picnic breakfast on the lawn where you can enjoy the sunrise and read together from a favorite book. Give out "caught being kind" coupons entitling the receiver to a free ice cream cone or drink.

Recognize teaching moments; enjoy and learn from them

Teaching moments aren't just for kids. Parents need and benefit from them as well. For young children, there are no trivial moments. Everything is vital and interesting. The world is a place of adventure and wonder, with surprises waiting to be discovered.

In the delight of young children, we learn much about joy and about optimism — the gift of looking on the bright side. Mud becomes mud pies. A bad hair day can bring giggles. Finger paint creates masterpieces. Watch young children and learn from their joy of living. Determine to recognize and enjoy the simple pleasures in your own life. Your kids will delight in your joy just as much as you delight in theirs.

As kids grow older, frustration and trials often dim optimism. We can't always alter the pressures of the world, but we can teach our children to continue to see the bright side. Our mood, words and deeds convey the degree of optimism or hope we choose to embrace in our own lives. Our example molds our children's beliefs about success and failure.

Look for teaching moments to help your children understand that life is what we make of it. Give older kids the gift of optimism they embraced when they were little. Encourage them to them to take notice of and appreciate and celebrate goodness and beauty. These may include the kindness of a sibling or other family member. The honesty, integrity, and loyalty displayed by others. The warmth of the sun on their face or a cooling breeze. The sweet scent of summer flowers and freshly mowed grass. No matter the ages of your children, play the Glad Game (think Pollyanna) and make a habit of noticing and talking about things to be happy about and thankful for.

Really play with your kids

The term "child's play" is an idiom, a phrase that denotes that something is easy to do. The gift of fully living in the moment can be as simple as child's play. Yet, as adults we make it harder than it has to be. Joyful living is not merely surviving the moment, and it's more than savoring what is provided by the senses. It is finding heartfelt gratitude for the blessing of now.

Instantaneous enjoyment and appreciation of life is taught by those who are experts in it — children. When they play, they devote themselves wholeheartedly. We admire their fun but worry that engaging in it will make us look, well, childlike.

Plato said, "You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation." Let go of your worry about what the neighbors will think. Get to really know your kids. Splash in the sprinklers with them. Draw on the driveway with sidewalk chalk. Jump rope with them or show them how to play hopscotch. Swing with them at the park or go down the slide. Make a tradition of a daily early morning bike ride. Build a castle with blocks. Catch the vision for an invisible road that leads from the kitchen to the dining room and play cars.

In whatever activities you choose, in whatever you teach — or learn for yourself — slow down and enjoy your children as you savor the precious moments of parenthood.

Lori Nawyn is the author of the recently released inspirational book "Simple Things" and "The Great American Family Reunion Cookbook." To learn more about Lori, her art, and books, please visit her website www.lorinawyn.com.

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