SALT LAKE CITY — “Most of us are living dreams that are too small for us.”
I scribbled the words down as fast as I heard Danielle LaPorte say them when she spoke last week in Lehi at an event sponsored by Startup Princess, an international network committed to empowering women entrepreneurs.
I nodded my head and wondered how many of the other men and women (mostly women) in the room agreed with her as well. LaPorte is the author of “The Fire Starter Sessions” and was speaking to us about “success on your own terms.”
The epidemic of dissolved dreams
I believe there is a silent epidemic of dissolved dreams afflicting women who have put many dreams on hold to be a wife and mother. I also believe being a mother is the single most noble calling a woman can fill. But often, we don’t talk about the other desires we had before becoming a mother — maybe out of fear people will think we are not happy as a mother, or maybe because we have truly given up on them.
Those dreams don’t truly go away because they are a part of who we are, a part of who we are meant to be. They will weigh heavy on your mind, or offer a burning sensation in your heart, and you should believe because all dreams are real.
You can be a good mother and still follow your dreams. You totally can, if you so desire. In fact, when you follow a dream you set an example of goal-setting and hard work for your children.
I have a daughter. I am not about to teach her during her childhood that she can be anything she wants, or accomplish anything she wants, only until she gets married and has babies.
LaPorte said, “You going after your possibilities gives the rest of us strength to go after ours.”
I am going to teach my daughter by example what a dream feels like inside, how to set a manageable goal toward achieving the dream, and how she can work to make her dream a reality.
Leading by example
Our job as mothers should include dream building and leading by example, setting a big goal and even falling short of that goal sometimes. I want my children to see me fail just as I want them to see me succeed.
“You have to be fierce about your goals, and flexible” LaPorte said. We have to be flexible with timelines we set for goals and flexible with life when circumstances change.
Here are three examples of things we can do to set goals and achieve our dreams within the realms of our family.
- Counsel with your family.Explain to them what your goal is and why it is important to you. Ask your family to support you when needed. Maybe you will need extra help around the house or time to slip away for a few hours as you work toward your goal.
Set priorities as an individual and as a family. Our lives are never equally balanced, but when we have our priorities in order and make decisions based on those priorities, we will feel a sense of balance.
Show gratitude. Express gratitude for those that support you. Be thankful for your successes and even your failures; most of all, be thankful and appreciative when you reach your goal.
About the Author: Nicole
Nicole Carpenter is the founder of www.MOMentity.com and the creator of The MOMentity Process. She is a communications consultant, writer and speaker. She and her husband are raising four children, 8 years and younger, including twin toddlers.