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SALT LAKE CITY — A booklet has just been released to help Latter-day Saint parents communicate with their children who have same sex attraction.
The booklet "Supportive Families, Healthy Children" was not released by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, rather the Family Acceptance Project produced the new publication. The idea behind the booklet is to help parents talk to their gay teens and help their child feel loved even if parents disagree with the gay lifestyle.
"You hear so many stories of someone who comes out and says, 'I'm gay or I'm lesbian or I'm trans,' and their family rejects them," Drew McGee said. "And I think parents should be kids' biggest advocates. …I have many gay and lesbian friends whose parents haven't been accepting and they have a very difficult time with it. I think I am very lucky and am very blessed, and it's too rare that parents are accepting."
Robin and Leonard McGee love and accept their gay son Drew and remain faithful Latter-day Saints.
"The issue is ‘How do you deal with it in your church?' But at the same time, there was never any thought that we would ever reject him," said Robin Davis McGee. "We love him and he'll always be our son and he's wonderful. He's successful, he's bright. He's doing everything he needs to do, and so what other comment is there?"
Drew told them he had same sex attractions when he was 16- years-old. His parents only ever worried about his safety.
"Life is hard enough as it is without more baggage," Leonard McGee said. "Just the way society is, it's difficult, so we were concerned about that."
The booklet lays out very clearly what it means to LGBT and lays out clearly what people can do to be more accepting, and it's definitely helpful in society today to have guidelines how to positively respond.
–- Drew McGee
The booklet is a new guide to help Latter-day Saint parents communicate with children who have same sex attractions. Caitlin Ryan of San Francisco State University and Robert Rees, a former Latter-day Saint Bishop who has counseled with gay Latter-day Saint youth wrote the booklet.
The McGees have read it, and are very grateful for other families who have been looking for help.
"A lot of people don't seem to know how to react when they hear it from their family," Leonard McGee said. "There's a lot of rejection, obviously, from other families and kids. People need to know how to handle it and know how to deal with it. I think it's a great thing to have that resource."
Drew McGee agrees.
"The booklet lays out very clearly what it means to LGBT and lays out clearly what people can do to be more accepting, and it's definitely helpful in society today to have guidelines how to positively respond," he said.
Yvonne Paul of Utah's Pride Center says parents and foster parents need to understand how to react if a child comes out to them.
"Parents can really do something and really benefit a lot from the information in this book and change the dynamics that they're having in their home, the behaviors that are having really dire outcomes for young people," Paul said. "It's really important for families, as well as religious leaders as well as leaders in our youth-serving institutions to pay attention to this research."
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has not commented on the booklet but a spokesman said that "we have repeatedly expressed the importance of treating all of God's children with love and respect.
As a church, our doctrinal position is clear: any sexual activity outside of marriage is wrong, and we define marriage as between a man and a woman. However, that should never, ever be used as justification for unkindness. We expect each Latter-day Saint family and individual to reflect Christ's second great commandment — to love one another."
Family therapist Julie Hanks believes the key to healthy relationships is unconditional love.
"It's important for parents to recognize that their child's sexual orientation does not define them as a person," Hanks said. "It doesn't change their worthiness of love and acceptance from their family."
