Inmates' families pay a price for crime, too

Inmates' families pay a price for crime, too

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SALT LAKE CITY — The victims of crimes suffer, often greatly. Convicts try to pay by doing their time. Then there's the less told story of Utah inmates' families, who didn't commit the crime but are also doing the time in their own way.

Erick and Felicia Meza are one of those stories, along with their three children.

"Just hoping to get back to my family and take some steps forward instead of looking back," Erick Meza said from a room at the Utah State Prison's Promontory facility.

If he peers through the glass in the security door, and then through the next and the next and the next, he might catch a glimpse of the free world, albeit still kept at a safe distance by two electric fences.

When he was 20, Meza robbed somebody.

"Aggravated robbery," Meza said, shaking his head. "I did a robbery just to be cool to a bunch of other kids."

Six years later, a regretful Meza isn't sure when he'll be released. Behind bars in jail and prison since 2008, his expected time of incarceration was projected to be more than seven years.

Meanwhile, wife Felicia is raising their two sons and a daughter - all under the age of 7 - out of a duplex in Ogden.


It's hard (hearing) them tell me that I'm the greatest dad in the world, them not knowing that I've really never been there for them,

–Erick Meza


Three-year-old Erick, Jr. beamed Thursday as Felicia brought his name up.

"They don't look at him like anything bad," she said. "They love him and they're waiting for him to come home."

Felicia said she takes her children and treks to Bluffdale to see Erick most weekends.

"It's kind of hard having to hear them tell me that I'm the greatest dad in the world, them not knowing that I've really never been there for them," said the 26-year-old inmate, who also has two other children with two different mothers in California.

Felicia Meza said they manage to get by - they have a home, a car, food and clothing. Still, the living is lean. Meza said she keeps her children clothed in lieu of them having many toys.

The Meza children, their parents said, know Erick did something wrong, though not necessarily all the specifics.

There are a lot of children in similar situations. According to data from a 2007 federal report, 52 percent of state inmates were parents to minor children.

The Federal Communications Commission on its website, also citing 2007 numbers, said 2.7 million children of inmates could benefit from better and more frequent communication with their parents on the inside. The number was referenced in connection with an FCC ruling placing limits on the per-minute costs of interstate inmate phone calls.

"What the kids want to know is, well is [the inmate parent] doing OK? Is he eating? Does he get to watch TV? Does he get to play?" said child psychologist Doug Goldsmith at The Children's Center in Salt Lake City.

Goldsmith recommended that young kids understand the basics of an inmate parent's situation, without getting into the specifics of their crimes. He also recommended not equating prison to a protracted "time out."

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"Most of the time as soon as we tell the child, yeah, [the inmate parent] gets to do those things, he just doesn't get to do them when he wants, but he is OK and he's safe - the children relax and they're okay with it," Goldsmith said.

Goldsmith said peers at school can be another challenge for children of inmates, since it can be a stigma for them to have a felon father or mother.

"Just let [the peers] know that it's not something you're going to discuss with them," he said.

Felicia Meza said the questions for her family are likely to grow whenever Erick is released.

She said her current landlord doesn't allow felons in, which could mean an eventual move.

Finding employment is always a challenge for ex-cons.

"It's still a challenge for me," Felicia said. "Sometimes I wonder if I can do it, am I strong enough to wait that long, or is it going to be worth it in the end. But I feel like I'm pretty confident that he's going to do good this time around. I know he doesn't like it there [in prison]."

For Erick Meza, the prospect of being together again one day with his wife and his children is a bright glimmer of hope.

"There's times I talk to my wife on the phone and they're just screaming and crying and talking about ‘dad, I want my dad,'" he said. "It sucks because I just try to hold back the tears and the sadness that my wife has to go through with my absence."

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