SALT LAKE CITY — Teenagers are traditionally not the kings or queens of restraint. Give them a cell phones, and anything can go.

As a parent of a teen boy with a cell phone, I would prefer that anything not go. My son seems to do all right when he is with me or his mother, but I wonder about what happens when I am not there — when he is in school, at practice, or at a friend's house.

Did my parents feel this way whenever I left the house, or when I was in the basement watching a beta video on a rented machine? Did they sneak down the stairs and try to catch a glimpse of the screen?

Maybe. However, it's harder to keep an eye on teen things now. The cell phone is not just a cellphone: it’s a camera, a web cam, a music library, a portable search engine and a giant tweet for mankind.

(And I used to brag about my watch that could tell both the time and the date.)

“It is appalling … among girls and boys that porn has become increasingly accepted, even as kind of cool,” said Pamela Paul, author of "Pornified: How Pornography is Transforming our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families".

Gone are the days where porn is stashed under a mattress or in a kid's underwear drawer. Today’s underwear drawer is a cell phone, and I don’t want my kids using it for pornography — and that includes sexting.

If you suspect your teen may have a problem with viewing pornography or sexting, and you don't know what to do about it, here are a few suggestions:

• Parents, remember that this is your child. You have the right to check the phone, just like you have the right to look at his grades, see his medical records or have him clean his room.
• As a parent, be tough enough because you care. Privacy is something that one should expect when one is using the bathroom or getting dressed. Ask to see the phone at irregular intervals.By checking the cell phone, you are declaring that there are right things and there are wrong things — acceptable and unacceptable. You care for his welfare.
• Don’t worry if you can't catch your child in the act. That is not the aim. She needs to know that you will do what is necessary to keep the family safe.
• Don’t be afraid to sever the cell phone ties. Your teen will not die. He will act like he is dying, but you will know better. After a week of no phone, he may realize that you are serious.

Related:

Did you know: The legal dangers of sexting

It's been well publicized, discussed and in a lot of cases prosecuted. Still, the phenomenon of sexting is under scrutiny in the Alpine School District because board members fear students and parents aren't aware of all the legal ramifications.

If there is a continued problem, buy an old person's cell phone — senior cell, one with big numbers and no camera, Internet access or texting capabilities. It's what we used to call a phone.

1. Know that there are resources available to assist you in being a responsible parent. Here are a few:
   1. Cell Phone Spy Elite is monitoring software, if you feel the need to use such. Keep everything on the up and up by letting your child know that the activity on her phone, as a minor, is being tracked. I wouldn't access this option until there is a proven problem.
   2. Safe Eyes is a parental control that traces, blocks and filters and reports and even sets time limits. Your parents didn't resort to these measures, you say? The threats from the world were different then. Today's parents find it foolish not to use the appropriate tool when necessary.
   3. Also, watch for the re-launch of www.websafety.com, software that you can load into your child’s cell phone that can advise you if content you'd like to contain is accessed.
2. Above all, don’t engage in porn or sexting for yourself. Hold yourself to the same standard. If you are viewing pornography on the sly, you will have no credence or credibility. Use of sexting and pornography is an infection. Clean it up, cut it off, fortify yourself and your family by making decisions now that will influence the choices your children make when you are not around.

Davison Cheney tends to write about things he is familiar with: things like raising children, taking children to therapy, bailing children out of trouble, and trying not to beat up parents of other children when they yell at his children for not getting the basketball to davisoncheneyprodigaldad.blogspot.com and on Twitter @davisoncheney.

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