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SALT LAKE CITY — It only took five tries, but I finally got the child I never thought I'd have: the streaker/escapee.
For years, I had heard about these children. Parents would tell me about their child who couldn't seem to keep (publicly acceptable) clothes on, if any at all. I would hear stories of parents needing to use child-safety things or put bells on their doorknobs to keep their child in the house, or at least to notify them when they left.
I admit, there were times when I thought this was more of a parenting problem than one having anything to do with the child. My children were always fully dressed and made sure to ask me if they could go play outside. I never had to worry about any of those things.
That all changed this past November when my newly 3-year-old daughter discovered swimsuits and doorknobs. You'd never think that two discoveries would lead to such mischief, frustration and neighborhood notoriety.
Just like any new phase that a child goes through, you think it's just that: a phase. You laugh it off, think that it is cute and post pictures of the craziness on Facebook. All will be just fine in a matter of days … maybe weeks, but definitely not months or heaven forbid, years — not even going there.
I began to realize that this "phase" may be more than just that when during this past winter (aka, one of the coldest winters we've had in a long time) I see Azure dressed in her Little Mermaid swimsuit, about to head out into the frigid temperatures.
I began to realize this “phase” may be more than just that when during this past winter (aka, one of the coldest winters we've had in a long time) I see Azure dressed in her Little Mermaid swimsuit, about to head out into the frigid temperatures. I stopped her at the back door and told her she couldn't go outside until she got some warmer clothes on. I pointed her in the direction of the winter clothes bin, and then went to run a load of laundry.
When I heard the back door open, I went to see if she had done what I asked. What I saw was nothing short of absolute hilarity: There she stood with her swimsuit still on, adding only a beanie and a pair of boots.
If you think this is bad, it was only a week or so later that I got a knock on my door from the across-the-street neighbor, bringing Azure home after she had walked in the side door of their house … in her gymnastics leotard, nonetheless. My neighbor was great about it and just laughed it off, saying that she was cute and that they had a great conversation.
I, on the other hand, was completely embarrassed. What was I doing wrong?
I've tried it all: child-safety locks, shouting her name every few minutes. It seems that only at nap time or the times when I am physically holding on to her is she not darting out one door or another.
The swimsuit issue only got worse when a kind friend dropped off a bag of swimsuits that were just her size. Azure was in heaven. She suddenly had an endless supply to get her well past the summer months, if not longer.
We are now entering the summer months, and my streaker/escapee is still going strong. We had an unexpected visit just the other day from our home teacher. He was holding her hand, saying she had gone to his house for a visit … this only five minutes after I had cleaned her up after dinner.
My neighbors find it hilarious to see me, a nearly six-months pregnant woman, chasing a little 3-year-old down the street — daily, if not multiple times a day.
So, here I sit, with my ears wide open — having already taken a good five breaks from my writing to check on her location. I now empathize with all those parents whom I may have judged too harshly.
My name is Arianne Brown, and I have a streaker/escapee for a child. Any support is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Arianne Brown is a graduate from Southern Utah University, mother to five young kids and an avid runner. Contact her at ariannebrown1@gmail.com, go to he blog at runariran.wordpress.com or follow her on Twitter @arimom5.
