Free yourself by mastering the art of defining your roles

Free yourself by mastering the art of defining your roles


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SALT LAKE CITY — My yellow daffodils are finally blooming. I’ll take it as a sign the long, cold winter is drawing to an end and spring is finally here.

But with the breath of the new season comes additional activities and responsibilities that seemed to hibernate during the winter months. Our family calendar just went from empty to bursting at the seams. All of a sudden we have soccer games, work events, conferences, meetings, doctor appointments and play dates.

The bustle of activity is a welcome change, but as the calendar starts to fill up, we feel overwhelmed. And overcoming that sense of being overwhelmed can often seem impossible.

I have mentioned that defining our roles can help the over-scheduled mom scale back. But defining our roles is actually more than just a good idea; it’s a necessity — and one that often gets overlooked.

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As mothers, often continue to proceed in our busy lives, wondering when we’ll get a break again. We overlook it because defining our roles can take thought and time, if we even acknowledge its benefit.

The truth is, we don’t have time to not take time and define our roles. At MOMentity, defining our roles is actually the third principle we teach in the processes of finding balance between your role as a mother and as an individual.

Identify your roles

Your roles are the different responsibilities in your life. They are like the different “hats” you wear, but more than just chauffeur, chef or referee for your children. These roles are a little broader and offer more significance than shuttling kids back and forth between activities.

Amy Lynn Andrews, a blogger and author of "Tell Your Time," explains, “Roles are who you are; activities are what you do in your roles.”


Roles are who you are; activities are what you do in your roles.

–Amy Lynn Andrews, author and blogger


I encourage you to actually sit down at your computer or with a pen and blank sheet of paper and list the different responsibilities you have in your life (such as wife, mother, employee, caregiver).

Remember yourself

As you make your list of “who you are,” chances are you will leave one very important role off the list — yourself! Caretaker of yourself is very important. If you don’t take care of you, who will? If you neglect to make time for yourself or take care of your needs, you will eventually fail in every other role you have.

You cannot offer the best to others until you take care of yourself. You can try, you might even find moderate success, but eventually you will experience burnout.

Please make sure to make yourself an important role in your life. All of your other roles and responsibilities will be easier if you do.

Roles change

As life evolves, so do your roles. Some roles you’ll add, like mother or grandmother; some roles will change, like student to employee; and some roles you’ll move away from, like school volunteer.

Once you understand your different roles, you can begin to prioritize your most important roles and eliminate the roles that are not necessary. This allows time for the things you value most and helps you avoid that sense of schedule overwhelm.


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About the Author: Nicole Carpenter ----------------------------------

Nicole Carpenter is the founder of www.MOMentity.com and the creator of The MOMentity Process. She is a communications consultant, writer and speaker. She and her husband are raising four children, 8 years and younger, including twin toddlers.*

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