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SALT LAKE CITY — Christmas is a time for families and a time for traditions. But as your children grow, the once-loved family activities of years gone by may become stale, eliciting more than a groan and an eye roll.
Resistance or outright rebellion are no cause for canceling the festivities. If your family has outgrown formerly favorite traditions, it may be time to let your traditions grow.
Old tradition: Being good for the “Elf on the Shelf”
New tradition: Encouraging good deeds
For families with young children, adopting an elf who takes naughty-and-nice notes for Santa is an exciting way to await Christmas Day — and a fun constant reminder for the kids to behave all month. But when the magic begins to wear off, the desire to stay on the “nice list” doesn’t have to fade. Finding ways to encourage and appreciate good deeds from your children — and yourself — will keep the loving spirit of Christmas alive and well.
Natalie Reed and her husband, the parents of two grown children, tried various ways of putting service in focus during the season — purchasing gifts for an Angel Tree, for example.
“One year we did simple acts of kindness throughout the year: sitting by someone alone in the lunchroom, making a new friend, paying a compliment,” Reed said. “For each act of kindness we cut out a snowflake. In December we placed all the snowflakes on the living room window. It was covered.”
Old tradition: Writing letters to Santa
New tradition: Writing letters to loved ones
A child’s earnest pleas for goodies and gifts from Santa in the form of Christmas letters make for great keepsakes (if they make it back from the North Pole, that is). Even if your kids have outgrown that activity, they can still put their writing skills and creativity to good use. The holidays are the perfect time to reconnect with loved ones no longer near.
"My sister and I have been exchanging an ugly snowman bobblehead back and forth for years. Once upon a time it was a white elephant gift. Now it shows up in odd places, wearing odd new clothes and posed in odd places. Now the husbands are in on it and each year you never know who's getting it." -Sarah Berryman
"My mom hides a pickle ornament on the tree and whoever finds it gets $10." -Katie Cox
"My dad bought my nephew a Barbie as a joke when he was about 4 and he was so mad! They've been buying each other a Barbie for Christmas every year since (he's 16 now)." -Laura Hildebrand
"My husband's family has what I think is a strange tradition of eating sloppy Joe's on Christmas Eve instead of a fancy Christmas feast." -Erica Fish
Family and friends who are deployed with the military, serving a church mission, away at college or living far from home appreciate letters and care packages so much more this time of year. For those both near and far, a family Christmas letter can do the trick, but it doesn’t have to be boring or braggadocios. Use your design skills to craft a cool and colorful family infographic, or write a spoof on the traditional letter.
“I was never one to write the traditional family Christmas letter, especially (when) so many seemed almost contrived. So I decided to write my own satirical letter instead,” said Kelly Thacker, mother to three grown children and grandmother of four.
“I exaggerated all of my children's accomplishments — I mean, really exaggerated them, so no one could miss that my letter was a spoof," Thacker explained. "The more I wrote, the more I exaggerated and the funnier it got. When my family and friends received my letter, they told me they laughed until they cried.”
Old tradition: Watching children’s Christmas specials
New tradition: Watching a new annual favorite
When I was a child, my mom would watch for the Christmas movie calendar in the local paper, then cut it out and plan our nights at home around it. Nowadays, DVR and DVDs have altered this tradition — and the fact that, now that I'm no longer 8 years old, I’m just not as entertained by Frosty and Rudolph as I once was.
Families with older teens and grown children may still feel the nostalgia for those old Christmas TV specials. But to really enjoy family movie night, choose a film with broader appeal. Timeless classics like “Miracle on 34th Street,” “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “A Christmas Carol” are perfect for people of all ages and invite the true holiday spirit.
If you want to break out of the traditional mold a bit, try “Elf,” “Fred Claus” or “A Christmas Story,” or go for what I call a “non-Christmas Christmas movie”: films like “The Holiday,” “Little Women” or “Love Actually” that take place during the holidays but aren’t overly about them.
For parents who miss the days of watching children’s favorites with the whole family, take heart: your kids may act annoyed, but deep down they may love the excuse to watch them again. Andrew Klc was raised in a large family and now has children of his own, but he never gets tired of his favorite Christmas movie: “My brothers and I always find a way to sit down and watch ‘The Muppet Christmas Carol’ — and sing along to it as well,” he said.
Old tradition: Visiting with Santa
New tradition: Creating a social occasion
Even after the kids are too old to pose on Santa’s knee for an annual photo, you can still keep the tradition of getting decked out and going somewhere special. Eat at a nice restaurant, go to a Christmas party (or host one yourself) or attend a special Christmas performance. If going to a major concert or play isn’t in your budget, try a local school or small theater production. Many vocal and musical students love the chance to perform. If you’re hosting a big soiree, contact the group’s director to arrange a private performance.
The point is to create an occasion to deck the halls, don your gay apparel and be jolly. For extra points, come up with a theme party or host a white elephant exchange.
“We always had family parties to look forward to, but my favorite activity was giving white elephants, or ‘goofies,’ as we called them," said Aaron Maxfield, whose family drew names long in advance for the secret gift exchange. "You knew it was Christmas when you had all month to think about a great gag gift.”
Attending someone else's party? Find ways to personalize the outing. Though Jason Ludlow is grown and married, he and his family still keep their same unique tradition: “On the way home from my great-aunt’s each Christmas Eve, we always stop at the same 7-Eleven to get Slurpees."
Old tradition: Getting gifts for the family
New tradition: Serve others
Gift giving is a major part of the Christmas season, and it will always be a wonderful way to commemorate the holiday. To reduce the “gimmies,” many families set a dollar limit on gifts or restrict what Santa will bring.
To make Christmas more budget-friendly in my family, now that my siblings and I are grown we exchange names instead of giving a gift to everyone. The bonus of this is that we love being able to focus on finding the perfect gift for just one person — what gift giving is really about — instead of feeling the stress of accommodating everyone.
For families of all ages, shifting the focus from receiving to giving is the best way to put the true spirit of Christmas front and center. There are countless ways to support local charities like a food bank, homeless shelter, church group, children’s hospital or Sub-for-Santa program, but how you integrate these activities into your family traditions is what makes them meaningful.
“Growing up, we used to do ‘Secret Santa’ for a family,” said Cassy Robinson, who now has a young family of her own. “We couldn’t afford much for ourselves after that, but knowing how happy the family was made it worth it.”
No matter what traditions you choose to adopt or say goodbye to, remember what truly matters: the chance to gather with your loved ones and share the spirit of the season.
