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FRUIT HEIGHTS — For her birthday this year, Danni Carlsen wanted help finding her birth mother. Since Feb. 13, she has been asking people on social media to share a graphic explaining what she knows about the woman.
Carlsen, 39, knows that her birth mother was 20 years old when Carlsen was born at McKay Dee Hospital in 1975, not married, had brown hair and blue eyes and was the fifth of eight kids.
Carlsen was adopted by her parents when she was just a few days old. Her adoptive mother had miscarried several times and doctors believed she would not ever be able to carry to term. Just a few months after adopting Carlsen, her adoptive mother conceived, eventually delivering five children.
When Carlsen was 4 years old, her mother sat down with her on a floral couch in the living room to tell her about being adopted. Too young to understand, Carlsen remembers crying over the news.
“I just remember crying because I wanted so badly to be from her,” Carlsen said. “She was trying to explain it to me and I just kept thinking, ‘Why am I not from her?’ I didn’t understand it.”
Throughout her childhood and adolescence in Centerville, she remained curious about her biological mother. But it wasn’t until after having her third child when she was 26 that Carlsen went to LDS Social Services to find out what information she could.
“I thought I would just walk in, get the name and go find them,” she said.
Instead, the man who helped her returned with a thin file and a sad expression. The closed adoption had kept information about her biological mother very private. He could only find about three pages about the woman who gave birth to Carlsen. Typically, he told her, there would be 50 to 100 pages of information.
From there, Carlsen registered with the state registrar's office, hoping someone would reach out. A few months ago, she went back with her cousin — who was also adopted — to the registrar's office. Her cousin left with information about her birth parents, but Carlsen left empty-handed.
As she has looked for her biological family, the family who raised her has remained supportive. Her father even gave her the money to register with the state, she said.
“Luckily, I do have a really good family and my adoptive parents are wonderful,” Carlsen said.
After years of waiting for official word, Carlsen, who now lives in Fruit Heights, has decided to turn to social media. Since she shared her story on the 13th, she has had more than 2,500 people share her photo and information.
“After seeing so many people put their pictures up, I thought I could do that,” she said. “For years, I was talking to my husband about saving up $100 and running some sort of ad in the paper.”
As people have shared the story, others have reached out to share their adoption stories with her. Most have happy endings, where the child meets their mother, and she hopes to experience that soon. Her goal is to meet someone from her birth family by the end of the year.
For her, finding her biological family is about closure. She hopes to one day say thank you to the mother and family who gave her up.
“I just think in the end we’re all brothers and sisters, we’re all connected in some way or another. For me, this is about making another connection in my life and answering some questions I’ve had my whole life,” she said.
